North London forever!
A brief tribute to the Arsenal - WARNING: FOOTBALL CONTENT
Here is the moment the Arsenal players learnt they were champions of England, for the first time in 22 years. They are at the training ground with staff, watching Man City fail to beat Bournemouth.
LINK: https://www.skysports.com/football/video/30998/13546073/arsenal-players-celebrate-winning-premier-league-title
It’s a lovely moment - unrestrained and frankly unexpected joy - Arsenal have led the league for 984 days since they last won the title, but not one of those days has been at the end of a season. They’ve finished second five times, including the last three seasons. They’ve acquired a reputation for those most heinous of synonymous sporting faults - choking and bottling. Bridesmaids forever. In Arsenal fans’ heart of hearts, which Norwegian did they secretly picture lifting that Premier League trophy at the end of this season - their own captain - nice but dull, one-footed, frail, pretty Martin Odegaard - or smirking, hulking, long-haired brutish terminator Erling Haaland? Beauty or the beast? I’m afraid it was the latter,
I’ve been an Arsenal fan for 54 years, ever since as a five year old my new class forced me to support Arsenal as a condition of joining “the gang”, an organisation that apparently comprised all but four sorry-looking children. I’d like to report that I refused to be blackmailed and proudly stood in solidarity with these four persecuted young people. But I said “oh OK then” and went home and told my family I now supported Arsenal, whatever that was. That year Arsenal reached the cup final and played Leeds and I was at my grandparents house sitting in the hall throwing a tennis ball up the stairs. My grandfather said Arsenal are in it, you are supposed to support them, but I preferred not to watch.
This season, after many years of fanatical support, I’ve come full circle - the prospect of throwing a tennis ball up the stairs has at times seemed far more appealing than having to sit through Arsenal games. It’s been a torturous experience - very little good football to enjoy, just watching some very organised and disciplined young men score a goal from a corner and then defend their goal redoubtably while the fans just pray for the match to finish. But after 22 years, we don’t care, Just win.
Win is the name of the Arsenal dog by the way.
Arsenal’s hyper-intense owl-like Basque1 manager, Mikel Arteta, is fond of trying new things. As well as forcing a dog to support Arsenal, as Barney Ronay of the Guardian rather unfairly described it, Arteta has acquired an olive tree dating from the year the club was formed. After a recent poor run, he lit a bonfire at the training ground and encouraged Arsenal players to throw their negative thoughts in the bonfire. He invited his players to a dinner and hired pickpockets to rob them to teach them a lesson about always being prepared.
He has been pictured being fork-fed steak by ludicrous restaurateur Salt Bae.
He is much disliked outside the Arsenal community - seen as promoting overly defensive tactics and espousing the dark arts of “game management” - time-wasting, falling over to win fouls, delaying restarts, holding and blocking at set pieces right up to the limit of what players can get way with. He is said to be always moaning and making excuses.
This Arsenal fan can understand it, but feels the criticism is a little harsh - Arsenal are top of this year’s fair play table - they’ve had the least number of yellow cards of any team and have had no sendings-off. And they may be defensive but they’ve scored the second highest number of goals. Arteta does sometimes complain, but no more than most other managers - and he’s always polite, and fond of an abrazo with opposing managers and with his players (but then maybe the players would be too terrified not to embrace him).
Most of all though, he was seen as a loser - a systems man who lacked the talent to make that final step. A try-too-hard, a failure, a bit of a joke with all his gimmicks, borderline David Brent (though 1,000 times more intimidating). Well, now he’s gone and won it. “He’s proved the doubters wrong”, that quintessential football achievement. As Bob Monkhouse said - they laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian - they’re not laughing now.
Something changed after Arsenal lost to Man City in the league in March. After that match, City’s triumphalism, and the widespead mockery of Arsenal with the Arsenal bottled water etc, Arsenal’s resolve hardened. As Arteta would doubtless have urged them, they used the hurt and mockery as fuel.
Since that game Arsenal have not conceded a goal. They won their next four games and reached the Champions League final. It’s not been pretty, they rode their luck, not least with the incredible VAR decision overruling West Ham’s last minute equaliser 10 days ago (seen as especially rich given that Arsenal are famous for getting away with this sort of thing at corners). Here’s the amazing freeze-frame that VAR had to analyse, like a Rubens painting:
Here’s the Guardian’s Dave Squires’ brilliant pastiche of the VAR incident (Salt Bae is in there too):
At the end of the season, it’s probably this image more than any other that is emblematic of Arsenal’s triumph, which perhaps says quite a lot about the manner of Arsenal’s triumph and the sort of season it’s been, but as Arsenal fans we don’t mind one bit. And we even have a (long) shot of winning the Champions League, grinding out a 1-0 against the brilliant Paris St Germain on Saturday week.
On Monday night, Patrick Vieira (the last Arsenal captain to lift the Premier League trophy as captain of the Invincibles, unbeaten in the 2003-4 league season) was asked who from the current Arsenal team would get in the Invincibles. He said five - Raya (our superb goalkeeper); Timber (right-back) and Gabriel (central defender colossus) alongside Invincibles Ashley Cole and Sol Campbell; then Saka at right wing and defensive midfielder Declan Rice to accompany Invincibles Vieira and Pires in midfield. No modern Arsenal player is getting close to even lacing Bergkamp’s and Henry’s boots up front. This Arsenal team is all about defence - hard work, organisation and resilience.
Arsenal fanzine blogger Arseblog suggests that instead of The Invincibles, this Arsenal team should be known as The Unbearables. Arsenal’s fans are certainly determined to justify that nickname - we plan to milk this success for at least the next 22 years..
Basques are good at being premier league football managers - Unai Emery (Aston Villa), Andoni Iraola (Bournemouth) and Xabi Alonso (Chelsea) were all brought up less than 30 miles from Arteta’s home town of San Sebastian. Perhaps they can combine Spanish footballing flair and expertise with the rugged resilience and community spirit for which the Basque people are renowned (thanks Google AI for those Basque characteristics).
A lovely write-up, thank you Goat. Trying to remember when I last experienced a moment of unrestrained joy at work.
No matter what one thinks of Arteta’s tactics, you have to hand it to the Arsenal board for backing him and giving him time. A lesson to the likes of Chelsea, Man Utd and Spurs. Arteta seems to have built a really great team spirit. And what a buy Declan has been - all those years of unsuccessful purchases kicked into the long grass. I think it’s a tremendous overall effort.